So it’s now my senior year in highschool. (Well, my first senior year… thank you Canada for giving us 5 years of highschool back in the day…) There was, as always, a boy. Just for the record… this is THE hottest boy I have ever known, met or dated. (Sorry to my current bf!) He was gorgeous. Long, thick brown hair, steel gray eyes, and did I mention he was a body builder and martial artist? Oh yeah. Yum-O. I was smitten from the start… and then some.
This was the boy who I lost my virginity to. We both felt the same about each other, we fell fast and hard. Again, thank you teenagers and hollywood, it was “oh so romantic”. He did sing me songs, and write me poems, and gave me flowers and teddy bears, romantic massages, expensive dinner dates, walks on the beach, camping together, cooking together, anything and everything you can imagine we did. It was really, truly a great and wonderful relationship.
I never had any thoughts of straying, I thought he was THE ONE. We were going to be together forever. We dated for 2 years before I moved 4 hours away to go to University. It was really tough. He wanted to end the relationship, simply because he couldn’t stand to be away from me and do the long distance thing. Maybe I should have listened to him, but I loved him so much I begged and cried for him not to leave. I knew he loved me enough that he would stay, and he did.
Problem is, now I’m 19 years old, and sexually active. He was my first and only, but now, being a young woman, coming into adulthood, living on my own, surrounded by sexually charged and drunken classmates, I started thinking… what was it like to sleep with other men? Would it be different? Would it be better?
The whole two years I dated Mr. Muscles he made it very apparent that he was anti-lesbian/anti-gay. (To clarify, he didn’t care if other people did it, he just didn’t want to participate and wanted me to have nothing to do with it. A guy who *never* wanted a threesome… really?) He knew about my girlfriend and my past, and he didn’t care, as long as I didn’t repeat it.
I had repressed my same sex urges for 5 years, now at University, no one cared at all who you did what with where or when. I shared a tiny dorm room with a sexy blonde. Early on we decided to push our beds together to create more space. Do I really have to spell out what happened next? Well, actually I do 😀 Because that’s the fun part about this blog, reading and living vicariously through someone else s sexcapades.
But before we get there, what about my knight in shining armor? My true love who I was destined to be with forever, who I begged not to leave me, who I was now contemplating if there was something better even though I loved him so much I would cry over him every day at the thought of not being with him?
Well, we did what every other “normal” couple would do in this situation; we went on a “break”.
Of course, that was after I had already slept with someone else.