The Beginning

Let’s travel back to when I was a young lady, not even yet a teenager. What did I know of sex and relationships? Some say that gays and lesbians are born with the desire to be with the same sex. Others say they choose. I don’t disagree with either.

If you are a straight, heterosexual person, is it because you WANT to be that way, or is it because you just can’t imagine being any other way? Most people have wild fantasies about sharing their beds with someone of the same sex, or perhaps even having a threesome. Does this fantasy ruin the idea that you’re straight? If you act on it does this make you bisexual and on your way to being gay?

NO! It just makes you human. Sex is pleasurable, and when you like someone, you like someone, plain and simple. What’s not so plain and simple though is being an open lover.

I don’t quite think that young people grow up thinking that open relationships and shared partners are a path in life they want to take. Some people say they know at a young age that they are attracted to the same sex. Many people know that as teenagers you go through an experimental phase testing the waters of same sex experiences. No one thinks to test or even think about having open relationships, or multiple open relationships. There are the liars and cheaters and players, but where is the wholesome, open love?

My first experience in the world of relationships

I sure didn’t start there. I didn’t know what to think of anything. I was at an age where boys still had cooties, but my best friend, who was also a girl, thought I was cute and decided to kiss me one day. My first kiss ever, and it was fun. I wouldn’t even really go so far as to say we were dating, because it was all kept in secret. We assumed something was ‘wrong’ with what we were doing (how young and naive we were) but our days and nights of  holding hands, caressing, kissing and even sexual self exploration went on for about 2 years. Mind you, because we were still so young, our adventures only merit a PG-13 rating at best.

I was having fun. I liked spending time with her. We were best friends, shared hopes and dreams and secrets. She had sweet gentle lips, and a petite body that was appealing to me. I’m not sure what she saw in me (the pudgy nerdy kid) but I never heard her complain and we were happy together until we went to highschool. Kids can be so cruel.

I was very confused, being in a (non) relationship, to suddenely being ignored and shunned, and worse, thrown into a world full of boys. Boys who were dating girls, who acted, smelled, looked and did everything completely different than the only thing I had ever known.


This was only the beginning for me.

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